the rebound guy...

Its been 1 year, like I've mentioned several times now. My memory when it comes to that relationship is pretty clear. And recently found out through the most unlikely of ways is that i was the 'rebound relationship'. If I try to explain it to you wouldn't undertand and be board but fallback career is CSI or DA because I can put things together pretty well. My math is really off or I was lied to or something wasn't told to me but I was told that when we first started dating that she had been broken up with this guy for more than a year when we started dating. Well from what I gather, which could be entirely wrong, she was still with him 6 months before we even met. Which means during that time theres the break up the get back together the break up and getting over the person.

Suddenly, it all seems so clear. I was just a rebound guy. That's why things moved so quickly and thats why it got so serious so fast. I could've been anybody. That relationship had a time bomb on it from the beginning and I didn't even know it. Now I see how I went from being 'amazing' to only having all the flaws in me. I think at times when she was mad at me for things, I think she was mad at herself too. Everybody wants to be loved and everybody seeks it out in some form. A lot of people coming out of a long-term relationship after being dumped go to the rebound. Its a pretty big revelation for me.

Links to articles:

http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/singles/onthepull/ontherebound

http://www.faceromance.com/rebound-dating-relationship-mistakes/


I've been in an emotional wreck over the last year trying to figure out what happened. I've been up and down, still holding out hope that light would shine on me and the reasons for all this would be clear. I tried to get back to that particular happy place in many different ways and I couldn't. I even convinced her to work with me on a project hoping that this light would shine down and at least come to at least some understanding.

Unlucky/lucky for me I met someone who wasn't a rebound relationship but more like the best thing that ever happened to me. 1 year later and I'm still talking about this as if it so recent. Can anyone imagine how important this person was to me? What can I say to that? There's no point to harbor any ill-will or resentment. Perhaps I should have been more careful, more alert as to why things were happening.

There was even a time in October, where we had a conversation where my walls came down when she was doing that thing she did to me... It was eerily similar to a point when we were close. I didn't know what to think as it was happening and I wasn't sure if things were changing but I did know it was out of my control. I just had to be ready for the worst. I don't how that conversation even happened or why it happened from her end. Its been bugging me, because it went from that conversation into an almost disgust for me. I was a pest, a nuisance after that (her words not mine).

Well, it is my goal to find that type of relationship again. But in this world those kinds of relationships are extremely rare. Once again, its about keeping faith... I need a drink.