my big mouth

If i just held in everything that could possibly harm somebody's feelings I think my head would explode by next Tuesday. Seriously, I thought about it, Tuesday.... You know, my overactive brain is soooo good at my job but it can hurt people. I in my head I don't think that what I'm saying is hurtful to others, its just how I see it. So I remember in high school I mentioned to a friend that he could do better than his current girlfriend. And this wasn't a mere superficial standpoint, this guy was with the wrong girl entirely and she was not a nice person from all my encounters with her which was 3 days a week for lunch since our sister high school were the only days we had a coed lunch period. Well I went over the top and I said she looked kinda like a goat.... He broke up with her a week later and I felt as guilty as anyone could feel.

Yeah, I'm piece of shit. I took it too far and I didn't could have gotten my point across a lot better. At times I can be so pure with my language and others I can't get the words out right and it comes out so bad and people don't understand me. Now, sometimes that language is completely accurate and my thoughts are hurtful and it puts me in this weird place where I don't know what to think. Am I Darth Vader?

I could go into this whole soliloquy about the whole good/bad, Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker and how to do the right thing you have to do some things that people interpret as bad but your intentions never changed... but in the end you changed because of those decisions... I don't know wha tto think about things and if my thoughts are concoctions or theyre legitmate psychological responses to the given circumstances. I don't even want to talk about it.

I am a gunslinger by nature. I shoot from the hip and I do it because it needs to be done. I count the shells afterwards. I've gotten wiser and learned how to bite the bullet (see how I tied all those metaphores together?) BUT when I do shoot from the hip or off at the mouth the consequences seem to be much greater. Most people love my style and know me for my good nature.

xxxx said, huh ... okay, interesting...that they would do that...not like them
and anyone who knows you, knows that you only have good intentions in mind ...

i never seems so