a cry for help

As the days fly by and years add up we continue to evolve and survive, that includes me too... But you know, sometimes survival leads us to success or happiness and sometimes it just is survival. I've been able to survive by continuing to do things I've never done before. In professional sense, I've always taken on things that I knew nothing about it, faked it, and became successful. Maybe fake is too strong of a word but I definitely didn't know what the hell I was doing a lot of the time and I for sure felt overwhelmed.

Tomorrow, before ths sun comes out I will be on my way to a client's site doing what my firm does, using our methodology, a methodology that I don't fully understand yet and have no practical use of. Yeah, I'll get through it, but I don't want to. When you look to people for encouragement you always hear the same thing. You'll do fine, and yada yada yada. I wish instead of trying to give me encouragement someone could tell me something to get me over the hump. I hate going into work with a bad attitude. So many of us go in bitter because of the strain that work has put on us.

So thats what I long for. Someone telling me things to get me over the hump. I also long for the ability to wake up on time. I hope I wake up on time and I hope I don't screw this up. Rise and shine at 6:3o... Seeing the sun rise is unnatural, unless you've been up all night.