work.

right now I'm on a mission and I feel like I'm putting things on hold and leaving things open and doing all the things I've always done. I have this funny way of making it right in my head so that I'm neither putting it off, but making time and doing it right. It's like my whole idea on how I'm so CLUTCH. Because I absolutely have to be....

Yeah, I make it harder than it has to be and yeah is it really clutch if you had to do it anyways? I say I have to be motivated to get it done and I have to feel guilt to do it absolutely right. Maybe guilt is the wrong word but I don't know I have to build the value up for myself. Whatever, I will be definitely CLUTCH in the coming blog posts.

I would love ot question someone who has no idea who I am base my personality stricly off all my blog posts. I wonder what kind of person they would think I am? If you're reading this and you don't know me please let me know.

those perfect moments....

the thoughts are racing through my head...

a post that shou've been yesterday

I would've posted it yesterday since it kinda goes with my post last night but it was late and I need ammo for tonight. It's a very good article and a must read.

Are "Should" and "Ought" Blocking Your Path to Love?

How to overcome three intentional roadblocks to love

Have you heard yourself saying things like "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love" or "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me"? Or how about "We should have... (fill in the blank: the same sense of humor, a similar background, or compatible taste in furniture)"?
I find that lots of singles have rules that guide their love life. Some rules make good sense (like only dating people who are really single and available, economically stable, and live within the law). But many rules are unrealistic, harsh, or based on romantic myths. Then these singles end up comparing their dates with their guidelines, sensible or not, and making life decisions that have enormous consequences.
I am a romance coach, but I have also been a psychotherapist for over 30 years. I learned long ago to listen carefully to the language my clients use when they talk about themselves and their lives. In particular, I'd watch for the words "should" and "ought."

What's wrong with 'should' and 'ought'
While exceedingly and commonly used, "should" and "ought" could easily be eliminated from our vocabulary. At the very least, we would all feel a lot better. Should and ought are guilt-producing words: "I should spend more time with my mother," "I really ought to lose some weight." The sayer doesn't really intend to do what he is shoulding or oughting. If so, he'd say, "I will spend more time with Mom," or "I'm going to start dieting today."

Shoulding and oughting are like giving yourself a lash on the back: You are punishing yourself with your "I should" or "I ought" statements. Your guilt is eased with your punishment, making it possible to go on with your life, while never following through with what you said you should or ought to do.

In the case of love, shoulds and oughts give us a way out when we need it, just like being picky. Looking for love is loaded with anxiety: "What if it doesn't work?" "What if I find out I don't really love her?" "What if he finds out about (you fill in the blank)?" When your anxiety screams for relief, pulling out a good old should or ought can provide your escape hatch.

Top 'shoulds' and 'oughts': Road blocks to love

1. "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love." Odd as it may sound, some people never feel the intoxicating sensations we think of as "being in love." The ability to fall in love is on a continuum:
“Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people never do.”
Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people never do. Most of us are somewhere in between. Those people who never "fall in love" are still quite capable of loving and forming relationships. If you find yourself waiting for the "in love" sensation which never comes, the "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love" could keep you permanently single.

2. "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me." Really? How? Of course there are better or worse choices, but assuming that your date meets your criteria of "good person" and the two of you enjoy each other, seem compatible, and don't irritate the heck out of each other, what more do you need? This "should" may be connected to your "falling in love" ability: If you are able to "fall in love," that biochemical process (it's like being drunk or high) helps surge you forward into a permanent relationship and over any questions or doubts.

3. "We should share the same ... (fill in the blank)." Why? One of the wonderful parts about finding a life partner is all the things that he or she knows and you don't, or is and you are not. Think of what you can learn from the differences. Or what you won't have to learn because your partner already knows.

Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone just like you? You may be pretty terrific, but how boring would it be to be married to your carbon copy!
So pay attention to your inner thoughts about love and your dates. If "should" or "ought" crop up in your thinking, take note and challenge yourself. You may have set up a condition that is road-blocking your search for love.

relationships.

Just by observing others and asking questions to married friends you can pick an amazing amount of experience. Yeah, you learn more on your own. They call it 'baptism under fire'. I love that phrase. Just because (sorry to go christianity on you) you are baptised under water. I think that's one of my top 10 phrases of all time because I've been baptised under fire. I digress, sorry. I think that you can a tremendous amount of information just from observing, sometimes more than actually being in a situation. I just think its how you process data. Somehow I can process data at times and create a hypothesis and it can be right and its pretty solid. That's how I got good at betting on football although I never do now. Some people can just take random info and turn it into something that makes logical sense to everyone.

The reason I am bringing this up is because I've sort of figured out relationships from the outside. Some of this is cliche because, its thats proven right. The other part is my observations.

1. You can't take things too seriously. I know from my own experience I took things way too seriously and so did my significant other. Its like, why are fighting about things that won't even happen and why do I care so much to make a point on somthing that isn't the end the world. There was some things that I thought were such a big deal to me that when I really looked closely at it, I'll do whatever she wants. Because I know if she's happy I'm happy. When you're stubborn and things don't go the way you want them to you try and force them to rather than not being bitter. When it comes to a lot of stuff I just make the most out things but there was time where I had to get in a mood and it really ruined some valuable time. It swings both ways too. The best relationships I've seen are ones where those fights that seem so stupid actually make you tighter as a couple. YOu can laugh about it... not right away but at some point soon. Isn't making up why we fight in the first place??

2. You have to comprimise. No one is going to be perfect all the time. Its like what outkast said, 'I know u like to think yo shit dont stink, but roses don't smell like poooopoooooo' For me I used to have a shorter temper and I used to take things without considering the circumstances around them. As if people were out to get me. And a lot of people in relationships really magnify the things that the other does because we're sensitive to it. That ok though. Because of there's a level of understanding. I work with 2 married couples and its a circus. I here these women who could be my mother, complain like a 22 year old about things that their partner does. It's cute. There's a charge that person puts in you that can make you so mad or so angry but its that emotional factor, that chemisry.

3. You are a better person because of your partner. You make each other better. That might be my own thing because I love to teach and I love to inspire and I absolutely love to see people grow. I see my parents and I see how my dad has changed and become a saint practically. I see my mom, well ok she doesn't really change but I see how shes become so flexible with my dad and his habits. She still nitpicks him, AND ME, but she's learned where its nothing to fight about.

There's a lot more but I really like these 3. Any thoughts? Do I hear an echo? echo? echo? If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? If a jabroni rights an obscure blog and doesn't really publicize it and doesn't get much a response is he really making a point or is it just fodder for the internet spiders looking to turn my posts into keyword searches and then accuse me of spam when I cover pop culture??

Can a man become a better man and a more complete person without having a 'significant other'?

Can I see the Cardinals actually win a game in when it counts? NO on that one.

illegals

I love illegal immigrants. They work extremely hard, they're family oriented, they do all the dirty work and things that we wouldn't want to do as a collective group, and they have some character as shown below. If you live in the Southwest an illegal immigrant has crossed paths with you at one point or another and you probably didn't even know it and weren't grateful for their contribution. Check out this article...


Illegal immigrant rescues boy whose mother died in Ariz. crash
Associated Press
Nov. 23, 2007 05:56 PM

A 9-year-old boy looking for help after his mother crashed their van in the southern Arizona desert was rescued by a man entering the U.S. illegally, who stayed with him until help arrived the next day, an official said.

The 45-year-old woman, who eventually died while awaiting help, had been driving on a U.S. Forest Service road in a remote area just north of the Mexican border when she lost control of her van on a curve on Thanksgiving, Sheriff Tony Estrada said.

The van vaulted into a canyon and landed 300 feet from the road, he said. The woman, from Rimrock, north of Phoenix, survived the impact but was pinned inside, Estrada said.





Her son, unhurt but disoriented, crawled out to get help and was found about two hours later by Jesus Manuel Cordova, 26, of Magdalena de Kino in the northern Mexican state of Sonora. Unable to pull the mother out, he comforted the boy while they waited for help.

The woman died a short time later.

“He stayed with him, told him that everything was going to be all right,” Estrada said.

As temperatures dropped, he gave him a jacket, built a bonfire and stayed with him until about 8 a.m. Friday, when hunters passed by and called authorities, Estrada said. The boy was flown to University Medical Center in Tucson as a precaution but appeared unhurt.

Cordova was taken into custody by Border Patrol agents, who were the first to respond to the call for help. He had been trying to walk into the U.S. when he came across the boy.

The boy and his mother were in the area camping, Estrada said. The woman's husband, the boy's father, had died only two months ago. The names of the woman and her son were not being released until relatives were notified.

Cordova likely saved the boy, Estrada said, and his actions should remind people not to quickly characterize illegal immigrants as criminals.

“They do get demonized for a lot of reasons, and they do a lot of good. Obviously this is one example of what an individual can do,” he said.

ranges

Everyone knows what the wide range of emotions we all have. And the majority of people only show that wide 'range' (call it what you want) to those we feel comfortable with, those who can bring down our walls. You ever get that feeling when you're with somebody, your closest friends, your significant other, your closest family members. When I say range of emotions, it includes a lot of other stuff, just things you would say, stuff you would do...

In my working life I operate in a small window and rarely do I deviate it from it. I can sense that people want more and they're trying to get to know me. I just can't get out of that window in a working environment. My best friends know me pretty well they've seen the entire repetoire. I just don't see then enough to even be myself like that.

The reason I'm even thinking about this is the range I've seen in others that I know very well. When you've seen the whole person, its tough to not question why that window has shrunk. Yeah things changes, relationship dynamics swing, I understand. But I can't stress how confusing it is when that range widens and shrinks inexplicably all over the place. When that window goes up and down its tough to judge where to stand. It's don't want to assume anything and you don't want to feel estranged but it can hurt sometimes....

I wonder what it is... The phrase, 'all you have to do is ask' is irrelevant here. Asking is an invitation to a tongue lashing or even worse; nothing. Two tears in a bucket... you know the rest.

winehouse on a monday morning....

Amy Winehouse Lyrics
Rehab Lyrics

good help

They say good help is hard to find these days. Depends on what you're doing but definitely if I need something done by a hard working, honest, and grateful for the work I'll get some immigrants. I hired some Mexican guys to work on my office. (It's official - 13251 Hawthorne Blvd Hawthorne, CA 90250, the security system will be on tommorrow and there's nothing valuable!!) I think you can apply it to almost all skill levels. This was best thing I heard all day:

"When can you start?"
"15 MINUTES"

That was exactly what I needed to hear!!!

I have so much on my mind and so much it just makes me wince. I'm in need of a lot of things and I desire a lot of things. One way or the other I'm wasting time and effort on something or the other and it makes me very uneasy, almost depressed. Eh......

Where did the weekend go?

listen to the end

If I've offended any cowboys, horses.... hahahahaha

Coach Philip

I think this guy is a jackass and a total overacheiver. He's egotistical and refuses to adjust with the times. He hung on the coat-tails of Shaq, Kobe, and Michael Jordan. The guy is sooo overrated and since he coaches the Lakers I can't stand him. That being said, this guy is a classic! The stuff he says, I don't understand how he gets away with it. He calls out opponents, his own players, management and people don't really see the controversy in the media. I see it for sure and I want his publicist. Also, this guy has a way with words and I swear he practices this stuff at home. He's my new public speaking idol!! Read below:

NEW YORK (AP) — The NBA has spoken with the Los Angeles Lakers about a comment coach Phil Jackson made following Tuesday night's game in San Antonio.
The Spurs made 13 three-pointers in their 107-92 victory, and Jackson was asked if too much penetration was leading to open outside shooters.

"We call this a Brokeback Mountain game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts," Jackson said. "It was one of those games."

The 2005 film, which won three Oscars, depicts two cowboys who conceal their homosexual affair.

"The remarks are in poor taste, and the Lakers have assured us such remarks will not occur in the future," league spokesman Brian McIntyre said.

week 2

it doesnt get easier from this point on, only more difficult. especially with the holiday season and then the tax season, OMG. i can barely keep my eyes open. gnite.

my quick adaption

It's been exactly 1 week since I started work. I more productive in a single day then I was 1 week ago. My glitch is that I need to feel the pressure of a deadline to actually bring it hard. When I start going through it makes sense to me. I have no real motivation to get something done. In school I waited until the exam was too close and I studied like it was the apocalypse. I always waited until the end of the month to reach goals for work. I waited until the end of quarters or just the end of basketball games to take big shots or make big plays on defense. I always play a better golf game when I know the score is close, same with video games. I always do my laundry when I know I HAVE to. I change for the better right before and after the girl is gone.... If I could just be awesome all the time, I'd be simply a phenomenon. We all can't be those.

When you have the reputation of being CLUTCH you never question it. But when you are clutch because there's no other option well, you are me: THR ROBERT HORRY OF LIFE. I loathe that guy... Meh.

That Boston thing

If you live somewhat in the sports world then you know what its like to have Boston jammed in your face with the Celtics Trio, Boston College's almost undefeated season, the New England Patriots and they're dominance (and red-asses, they are so bent that people have called them cheaters that they want to drop 7 touchdowns on everyone), and ofcourse my boy Schilling and the Red Sox winning the world series. That's one part of it.

Then with my friends circle and my involvement in certain I will always have ties to Boston and other parts of the East Coast so I'm excluding that from this theory. But there's always those random things that really start to make me wonder. The guy who works in the cubicle next to mine is a true Bostonian with the accent and the attitude. In fact, he actually pitched for the Red Sox a million years ago and got his MBA from Harvard. Then there's my door guy from event, another Bostonian which I didn't even know until we talked. That was weird. All these random things that happen within the course of the day that catch me off guard because I'm not looking for anything, it just seems to find me. Another recent city, although nowhere near the frequency that Boston seems to come up is Detroit. But its not even a contest.

I don't know what it is that's makes this happen but I wish I knew why. There's always the possibility of the a coincidence but it would need to be a pretty big one to convince me. It might be my mind playing tricks on me too. Or there's some other reason and since I can't pinpoint anything thats what makes me wonder. Meh.

top ten reasons for another trip to london

Most ridiculous British law:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (seven percent)

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (five percent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (four percent)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3.5 percent)

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (three percent)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (three percent)

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (two percent)

there might be hope for those

Better sleep doesn’t have to come in a pill.

For people with chronic insomnia, studies show that simple behavioral and psychological treatments work just as well, and sometimes better, than popular medications, according to a report in The Journal of Family Practice.

The medical journal Sleep last year reported on five high-quality trials that showed cognitive behavioral therapy helped people suffering from insomnia fall asleep sooner and stay asleep longer. Another American Journal of Psychiatry analysis of 21 studies showed that behavioral treatment helped people fall asleep nearly nine minutes sooner than sleep drugs. In other measures, sleep therapy worked just as well as drugs, but without any side effects.

The behavioral strategies for better sleep are deceptively simple, and that’s one reason why many people don’t believe they can make a difference. One of the most effective methods is stimulus control. This means not watching television, eating or reading in bed. Don’t go to bed until you are sleepy. Get up at the same time every day, and don’t nap during the day. If you are unable to sleep, get out of bed after 15 minutes and do something relaxing, but avoid stimulating activity and thoughts.

So-called sleep hygiene is also part of sleep therapy. This includes regular exercise, adding light-proof blinds to your bedroom to keep it dark and making sure the bed and room temperatures are comfortable. Eat regular meals, don’t go to bed hungry and limit beverages, particularly alcohol and caffeinated drinks, around bedtime.

Finally, don’t try too hard to fall asleep, and turn the clock around so you can’t see it. Watching time pass is one of the worst things to do when you’re trying to fall asleep.

It may be hard to believe, but studies show these simple steps really do make a meaningful difference for people with sleep problems. These interventions are based on the notion that thoughts and behaviors can “hyper-arouse” the central nervous system and deregulate sleep cycles, resulting in chronic insomnia, reports Family Practice.

If these steps don’t work, talk to your doctor about a referral to a sleep therapist, who can also teach you additional relaxation techniques to help bring on sleep. Sometimes, a therapist might work with you to reset your sleep-wake schedule, a more involved process whereby patients adjust their bedtime each night over the course of a few weeks.

And for more information about sleeping pills, read this story in The Times.

the end of an era

So tommorrow I start full-time work in an office for a company with a long-term plan and room for growth. First time since 2004. I had a good run. It's pretty amazing to me that I've been able to get by without working anywhere for the last 3 years and I've done a hell of a lot I would say. I made money and paid my bills, completed an MBA, grew 2 businesses, worked on over 20 consulting engagements, traveled the world, had some some incredible experiences, had an amazing girlfriend, learned parts of different languages, just over all had the time of my life.

My friends joke with me and are still wondering how I did it? People always ask me why they're getting emails at 3am and what do I do all day and how do I get time off the way I do and how much money do I actually make.

Well that era is done and I'm glad I got to do it. I doubt I will get the chance to do it again but at the same I'm glad that I'm doing something a grow-up does. I'm unofficially all grown up. Grown-ups tuck their shirts in. Grown-ups get up early and don't take breaks in the middle of the day to go their bestfriend's work and play on myspace together after lunch.

I don't wanna grow up, I'm a ToysRUS kid!!!

...

i am absolutely at a loss for words. somebody shoot me. (only half kidding)

HD

I don't know how I lived without HD in the past. OMG. Watching sports in HD is better than being at the game in the front row! I might not ever go to a game again! If you're thinking, 'hey idiot, its not that big of a deal'. Well... I really don't want to get into it right now about what my thoughts are on so this is good for me.