numb....or not.....

I talked to my ex-girlfriend after a long time. Saying we caught up would be an understatment. I remember what Tony Soprano said to Pussy before he killed him for ratting them out to the FBI: "Puss, did you even really exist..." He said it in a way where I could never ever forget it.

I know I'm supposed to be spiteful and bitter and I am a little bit, but I'm also optimisitic about things in my life. I know I'm supposed to be sad, and I am. I think I learned a lot about myself through all of this. And I think I proved my worth to any woman that comes into my life.

I might be arrogant or I might be just flat out ignorant, but I think she'll realize what she gave up down the road in form or another. Something in her life will make her look back at all this and think twice. I could be completely wrong and she might now be with her soulmate... only time will tell, right? Or I could be completely wrong and she might never think about me again, but I know how much she touched me.

So now it's my turn to walk away. And that means I need to start living my life by my standards and not hers anymore. I'm gonna beat this shit, are you kidding me?? I know what I have to do now. First thing's first is I have a new outlook on life. The next thing is get back to what made me who I am.

I'm back in business, baby!!