my equilibrium

So here's where I'm at: 1 year ago at this time I was so strong, independent and content with life. I was in a state of letting things happened as they did but at the same time taking initiative and looking forward. I enjoyed my life and looking forward to the challenges and the things to come.

Right now, I'm a shell of who I was. Ever since I got my heart broken, bad things have been happening and their magnified by the huge shadow of doubt in my head. When bad things happen, I expect them to get worse immediately. I find it hard to enjoy things and I'm constantly caught in my own world when I'm out doing things. But its not the good world, its different type of one where I can't seem to leave even when I want to. I'm not confident in who I am and what I can do. I don't where things are going and the darkness is surrounding me.

Now I'm trying to do whatever I can to get out of this thing and the only thing I can do is cut out the 9 months of my life and start over. I need my equilibrium.