part duex

So almost 1 month ago I started my apologetic and now I've come to write another chapter. I left off somewhere in September. In October I made first trip to the East Coast to visit and it was everything I expected and even MORE. There's certain moments that are just etched in my memory. Running through the rain and how she turned and smiled at me... It's like an art lover catching a glimpse of the Mona Lisa for the first time and just knowing that you'll get to see it over and over again.

My feelings were so strong at this point that I took a big leap and hung big mozzaball out there. Its still sitting out there... Later on that day walking around I realized how much control over myself I had just given up her, it was a little disheartening and it made me think that she could really hurt me.

When you reach a certain age and you've dated alot of people had alot of experience, you know precisely what you're looking for. It's an internal thing that you realize. It doesn't take much thought, you just know.

You know why it didn't work out with anybody else because that person came into your life. Suddenly, its obvious why things worked out how they did. Well... It's a very tough pill to swallow after knowing all this and not having that person anymore.

That's all I have for now...