the beach

Its after midnite and I'm calling it quits on work tonight. There was so much shit going on today that I couldn't even keep up. Business is good, opportunities are emerging and I'm keeping my hopes. That being said, it was still a very stressful day.

Thanks DST!! Now after work I can go to the beach and try to relax. I sat and I thought about a lot of things. Tried to clear my mind by watching the waves crash over the beach. I think I figured out a couple of big components for my happiness.

1. Redemption - my life needs a chance to make up for all the wrong things I've and bad decisions I've made big and small. It's all about finding some equality in the things that happend to us in life. Who knows if that's even possible.

2. Resolution - I need resolution. On many things, but I need to feel that there was a reason to everything and I can see that. I also to get some resolution on my terms and on the universe. That's impossible I think.

At the temple on Sunday, the leader of the study group said something that stuck in my mind. He said if bhagwan (GOD) walked through the door and we could recognize him for being GOD, and he said come with me to salvation. Think about it in the most impromptu terms, GOD comes to your front door and says come with me to salvation.

Would you go? You will be leaving this worldly life. I thought about it way after he mentioned it. I would hesitate because of what I would be giving up. I would want to stay to finish up things. (Get resolution and redemption - see the tie in) I would want to say good bye to family and some friends. I would want to do the things I love just one last time. And this is where it gets interesting you could say; even with all that stuff on the planet now, and me having access to all those people, still doesn't make me happy. So what I am holding on to that for? All these worldy things are the cause and affect to our temporary happiness and sadness.

It gives me some peace of mind atleast. Because it's not like I got a problem here. I'm too attached to this world that I don't even know what to base happiness on. So what the hell is real happiness? I don't know.

Hey bhagwan, if that offer is on the table I'd accept in most humbling manner....

P.S. That last line is a joke..