sublime

aint nothin wrong
aint nothing right
and yet i sit lie awake all night....

I remember when I was depressed in high school and the Sublime album, "40oz to Freedom" got me through my junior year. It was weird, I got depressed because I felt like I had no place in life and the stress of work, school, SATs and all the other crap I was doing. We were kids under a lot of pressure at a high school where failure was unacceptable by neither the school nor our families. I know the weight of the world was on our shoulders and it broke some of us. We all had to deal separately, sometimes together... I don't think back then most of us knew what we were doing in any facet. We just had a basic idea of do good in high school, do well on the SATs go to college. We looked at college as our freedom from the current hell-hole. Now I can't say that it was like that for everyone, but it was like that for me.

High school was a strange time for me. I had friends and enemies. I had no real mentors, only the people that I envisioned as role models - Ghandi, Tupac, Mr. Oldani. Looking back I was so disconnected with everything. Maybe that's where all my problems were stemming from. I wasn't really close with my family, I was trying to discover my spirituality while I was pondering what was really important to me. I know I've made light years in progress in my mind. I know how smarter I am but how much more growth is still out there.

Like I had an idea at 17 1/2 of what life was all about. It's changed about 100 times since then along with my morals, my priorities, my goals, my spirituality, my passions...