pankaj's grandma's havan

Havan: a fire ritual accompanied by the chanting of the sacred Vedic mantras for a communal or common purpose. In the Vedic age, Havans were performed to give offerings of ghee, milk or grain to please the deities. With the later philosophical development of Hinduism, their purpose evolved into a method of practicing renunciation.

When the tears well up inside you... When that memory of the sadness of losing a loved one breaks down your words and feelings into tears... When that moment passes you... Smile... That's all, just smile and be happy...

It's been 2 years since she passed. We haven't forgotten and we still hurt every day but we know she's not suffering like she was before cancer took her away from us. It was good to see my bestfriend, his family. I forgot how punjabi people are like the mafia. Not that we are shady or bad people, but even extended family and friends of friends we treat like family. I have to turn down drinks because uncles want to buy them for me just for the hell of it.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by wonderful and loving people. No matter how shitty I can feel, the people I know won't let me feel that way. And these kids.... They keep me feeling young and innocent even though I feel neither. They sit and talk with me and joke around as if we live in a bubble and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.