Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye has always been one of the toughest things for me. I know alot of people have this problem too. We latch on and we don't want to think that this is goodbye. Our instincts are to delay the sorrowness of saying goodbye to someone or something to protect ourselves.

I like denial, if you don't say goodbye or you don't have a formal goodbye then things are still open. "Until we meet again..." Its the hardest when you don't know when you will meet again. We've all had to come to terms with loved ones passing away, friends leaving the country or going somewhere where we will not see them, ending relationships with significant others. They all are very similar if you don't have control in your relationship.

Let me talk about the latter. I don't want to say goodbye, but I don't have control. It's really like, are you willing to live for a dream or are you willing to die for it? (living meaning trying to work through the pain and suffering to see it through if it can be / dying meaning ending it so that the dream can live on in another form)

You really don't know how far you will go when you know someone you care about needs something from you until you reach that point of no return. I'd be willing to do anything now, before I wasn't so sure I don't think because I wasn't sure what she would do for me. Now I know that it's not a contest or a battle of wills, I would do it because it needed be done, all egos aside.

The memories sometimes have to get us through things. Moving forward and having faith that things on the horizon aren't bad, but good makes life and everything worthwhile.

The relationship I knew, might be over. If I could make things work out then I would do it but it doesn't seem like I can do anything more. My relationship was my most prized posession. I think alot of people think of it that way conciously but it is a posession, not the person itself. It's like a plant you can do to much to kill it by showering it with too much of what is good for it. You can also kill it by not cultivating and it doing what is necessary to make it grow. You can also put a plant in a bad environment or a bad time and no matter what do you do it whithers away...