Pathetic Insecurities and Blind Spots

We call them pathetic insecurities because we want to denegrate them as much as possible for our own betterment. It's crazy how these pathetic insecurities dominate our lives and make us who we are today. We live our lives based on these pathetic insecurities without even knowing.

My biggest pathetic insecurity is of not being good enough. It comes from my childhood of not performing in school up to my full potential, or atleast what my parents perceived as my full potential. As a result I didn't try very hard and I was afraid of failure. My biggest pathetic insecurity is that I'll never be good enough for what I want in life.

My other pathetic insecurity is of being a fraud or phony. I was surprised to learn that alot of the game players share this same pathetic insecurity. We feel as though we are not as authentic as we appear to be to others. I feel that sometimes people see me one way and its not really who I am. Meaning I've built myself up as this great entrepreneur and everything but I'm really just not that good, or cool, or interesting as people seem to think I am.

My blind spot was a very interesting discovery. When I recieve compliments from others I don't accept them graciously. In my mind I think this person is just being nice, this person doesn't see the flaws in me/my work. I also make excuses as to why things didn't come out the way that they should have. So I pick details and downgrade my work and then I make excuses for myself as to why this happened. After this introspective moment I hope that I can watch myself carefully and redefine my life not by these pathetic things but who I REALLY am.